I am a Dorothy who has been captured by the tornado, escaped it, and then got sucked back in.
For several months, I have been talking about my plan to get back to a balanced life and be a happy person. I'm sorry that my friends have to listen to my inspired speeches and detailed plans for finding joy, and then they sadly watch how I slip into inaction. As I have written, I have been living mostly in my head, playing out the various escape scenarios, and then talking myself out of making the daring exit from the insanity in which I currently dwell.
I don't know why I am stuck. Reading inspirational posts from my favorite blogs has given me so many ideas, but yet I can't move forward. Is the burden in my head and my heart too much? I have no idea. I know that I need to listen to myself. The only thing is, I can't hear Me.
Would the Real M please show up???
Tonight I watched a new television show - well, actually, only part of it. It was exciting up until the horrendously violent scene where a guy was being tortured in front of his wife, a profiler for the government. I thought, "Holy shit, they actually show this on TV???"
"What the fuck?????" I said out loud.
Yes, it was bad enough that I threw the F bomb around with no one else to hear it. (Well, except for my dog and she didn't like it.) It was then that I realized I needed to get away from the crap that was invading valuable real estate in my brain.
Time to clean house.
Initiating Project Mind Cleanse...
STEP ONE: ELIMINATE REGULAR TELEVISION
I'm turning it off. No more commercials about the latest exercise craze, lawyers that want to help you sue big companies, or how to get rid of unwanted hair. No more reality shows that are not based on reality or shows so violent they inspire the real thing in your city. No more news shows that repeat the same depressing news every hour on the hour. I'm done with the messages that I once thought benign, but have somehow seeped into my brain. Just to be clear, I am not giving up video entertainment. I will stick with Netflix and my DVDs I own. I've done it before and, by golly, I can do it again. And I was fine. I will be fine.
We shall see how that goes for one week.
Stay tuned for STEP TWO.
How I Cleaned House & Simplified My Work Life
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