So What Am I Trying To Tell Me?

Scene I
I walk through the door of my home, a suite in a fancy hotel.  Upon entering the bathroom, I notice that my beloved Canon Rebel DLSR camera is in the toilet.  Panicked, I rescue it from the water, quickly twist off the lens, and empty the liquid that seeped in.  Three AA batteries are taken out of the camera, also leaking fluid.  Who knows how long it had been soaking...  I hoped out loud that it was not completely ruined.  I frantically dab all the items with a towel.


Scene II
In a social situation outside of the OR, a surgeon with whom I occasionally work introduces me to two young ladies.  They had Indian names that were difficult to pronounce.  I try to repeat their names after we were introduced.  The surgeon, who is normally jovial and patient, said that I wasn't saying it correctly and told me to try again.  Again I failed.  I could feel myself becoming increasingly frustrated.  He said that I could not leave until I perfected my pronunciation.  I continued to struggle.


Repeat Scene I and Scene II


This was the dream that I had a few nights ago.  I remember waking up wondering what the heck that was all about.  Blindly reaching for my pen and moleskine on my nightstand, I recalled the details scene by scene.  At 5:00 AM in the morning, none of it made sense, not that anything makes sense at that ungodly hour!

For days I tried to decipher this message from myself.  Marj, what are you trying to tell me?  With a little  Google magic, plus some knowledge from books I read in the past, I had a good start.

First, I looked at the meaning of the symbols in each scene:

- The camera symbolizes something I am trying to focus on.  If I look at its current meaning in my life, it is one of my prized possessions that I use as a way to relax (photography as a hobby).
- Batteries, of course, symbolize energy.  My batteries were leaking, so I am losing energy.
- Water can symbolize many things, but in this case it means that I am overwhelmed because it was ruining something that I love (my camera).
- The surgeon probably symbolizes work.  In reality, he is very friendly and patient which is why I like him.  In this dream, he was demanding.  Work is something that I like overall, but, like this doctor, it is very demanding.
- Difficulty talking/pronouncing words and feeling frustrated symbolizes my need to do things the right way or the "perfect" way.  I admit that I am a perfectionist.  (I'm working on getting over that!)


Interpretation...
My efforts at relaxation and having a life beyond work are being thwarted because I am feeling overwhelmed by something - work or life.  I am losing energy quickly.  The good news is that I keep trying to recover.  I need to try to stop being a perfectionist at work, otherwise I won't be able to move forward.

I guess if I want to gauge my progress with self-care, sometimes the report card doesn't appear on my time card, my bathroom scale or the reflection in the mirror.  Sometimes it comes in a dream.