Telephone

My phone rang at 1:00 AM in the morning.

Yes, 1:00 AM.

'Who the !@#$ would be calling me at this time?!?'  I thought.

I glanced at the lighted screen on my phone.  It was my 20-something year-old cousin K.  At first I let the phone ring and go to voicemail.  Then, in my delirium, I remembered what I used to tell my younger cousins about calling me in case of emergency.

"No questions asked," I said, back when they were in high school, "call me if you're ever in trouble."

The realization that something could be truly be wrong, and that I would deeply regret it if he were hurt, shook me out of my deep slumber.  I popped up in bed like a waffle in a toaster.  DING!

Shit...  I have to call him back.

Clearing the sleep from my eyes, I hit the icon to return a missed call.  K quickly answered.

It was NOT an emergency.  He was not injured, arrested, or stranded in the middle of the city.  He was not beat up by a bunch of gang bangers and left to die, nor did he overindulge at a city pub and was too drunk to drive.  Little Cousin K was simply up late, working on a job application, and seeking my advice since I am a former recruiter.

You gotta be !@#$ing kidding me...

My initial reaction was anger.  I don't remember my exact words, but it was along the lines of having a serious job, being older and needing my rest (yes, I actually said that), and Lord only knows what else came out of my mouth.  Eventually, I calmed down, gave him some feedback on a composition, and then went back to being mad.

After we hung up, I couldn't sleep for another hour and a half.  I cursed him and his generation.  Yes, his WHOLE generation.  Obviously, I was raised differently.  When I was younger, it was drilled into my brain that, unless someone is dying, you NEVER EVER call someone after 10:00 PM.


Am I really this old???

I wore myself out by catching up on my work and personal e-mails, reading Facebook and Twitter updates, and cleaning my kitchen.  By 2:30 AM I was back in bed asleep, opened my eyes at 4:30 AM, hit the alarm several times, and actually started moving by 5:30 AM.  Needless to say, slumber prevention tactics were in full force throughout my work day:  a steady flow of caffeine plus constant movement.  Thank goodness there weren't any huge fires I needed to put out!  And, bonus, I didn't hurt anyone.

In retrospect, I need to set some ground rules for my loved ones and for myself when it comes to telephone etiquette.  If I don't set parameters, I allow myself to be overly available and, as a result, even more stressed out and tired than I usually am.  (If you can't already tell, I am the kind of person who feels the need to take care of my loved ones, sometimes at the cost of my own well-being.  Not good.  Such a nurse thing, eh?)

So here is the tentative guideline.  I have included other rules unrelated to the late night calling but that frequently occur.

Telephone Etiquette for My Closest Friends and Family

1. Do not call after 10:00 PM or before 5:00 AM unless it is an emergency.  I have a job where many decisions actually affect patient care.  Kinda important that I'm thinking clearly, wouldn't you say?  Emergencies include being too drunk to drive, serious illness or injury (you or another family member), or the end of the world.
2. Do not call me more than one time for directions if you have a Smartphone.  Pull over and Google directions.  Check your e-mail for the address of your destination because the likelihood that someone already sent you this info is very high.  I am not your GPS nor do I know the city like the back of my hand.
3. Do not call me while I am on the road to see where I am, especially after I told you that I would be there in one hour, and it has only been 30 minutes since I left my apartment.  Seriously.
4. Do not text me when you know I'm driving because I don't text and drive.  It's the LAW!!!

Telephone Suggestions for Me

1. Do not answer every phone call the first time when I am busy and/or tired.  If someone tries calling me more than once, then it's probably important.
2. Turn off my ringer or put my phone on vibrate before I go to bed.  (This one is a tough one.)
3. Obtain a landline (in my future condo) with a phone and answering machine that announces who is calling.  That way I don't have to open my eyes or get out of bed to see who is calling.  If they leave a message, I can hear it instead of having to call my voicemail.

Thank you to my friend Sharon for these suggestions!!!  My favorite so far is getting that phone with the speaking caller ID and answering machine.  While I won't be able to do that for another month, I can at least start shopping for the system!

As usual, I learn a valuable lesson every day.  In this case, I can see how well (or not) I am doing in my self-care initiative.

I have a lot of work to do!!!